New Year Resolutions

Happy new year!

2019 was a mixed bag of emotions for me. I lost my amazing grandma in march, I had my anxiety and depression treated after years of denial and I took myself away from poisonous people which although at the time, hurt me so bad, made me realise that this was the release I needed to find myself. I miss my grandma so much and her death although we knew would be soon, came sooner than expected and I was and still remain heart broken. As for my mental health, I have suffered years with anxiety and had been seen by several therapists but eventually took the plunge and began sertraline, a medication to help with mood swings and anxiety levels which really has changed my life for the better. I started to feel so low that I honestly didn't want to be here any more. If I didn't have my amazing FiancΓ©  I couldn't have got through it.

Although a sad year for the most part, there were some amazing times for me this year including getting engaged (expect plenty wedding blog posts!), getting our beloved dog, Rodney, and meeting my amazing God Daughter and seeing on of my best friends become an amazing mother for the first time has really made this year such a roller coaster of emotions. Despite the sad moments, I have really found myself as a person and finally feel happiness that I hadn't felt in years which I can't explain.

For 2020, one of my main goals in to remain in the moment. When we went to Scotland in November my mobile phone broke so I was without social media for 48 hours and although I used Rob's mobile to check on facebook messages as we had just got engaged but other than a quick 10 minutes, I was spending time to myself and with Rob and Rodney and felt like I was in such a happy bubble. We spent evenings playing monopoly, drinking wine and watching movies and I felt such an aura of just simple prosperity. I plan on removing myself from facebook in 2020 and just sticking with Twitter and Instagram.

Another goal for new year is to take more photographs but keep them stored in a photo album. Like an old school physical album. Again, when my phone broke whilst I was away I took so many photos and when I didn't know if I could get them back I was so worried. I did however get them back thank goodness. So I plan on getting all my special photos of family events and nice times printed and popped into an album to keep forever.

My last goal for the new year is to keep up with exercising as I've found a new stress release in making sure I go to the gym or cyclin 3-4 times a week and this really helps my mental health and I enjoy feeling strong. I used to see the gym as a form of something to do with dieting and began to hate it when I hated dieting but now I have changed my mind set to doing to to keep happy, I thoroughly enjoy it!

What is your new years resolution?

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